Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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