i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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