Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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