Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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