Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
