i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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