Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
