You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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