i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
