Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
