Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
