sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's shark week go big or go home
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
