we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
