I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
