why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I could make wine with my vomit
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
