But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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