Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
