i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
