So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
