Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
