i barfeds in our rink
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
