I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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