a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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