we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
