I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
