Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
