i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
