I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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