weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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