Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
