someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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