The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
