the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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