A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
