if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
