i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
