party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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