My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize