I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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