apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
