The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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