There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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