So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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