Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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