i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
