Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
