This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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