Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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