Jerry, you need to find god
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
