There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Found your dick twin last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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