Non-Jews are for practice
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
