Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
