I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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