No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
