walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
