i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
