Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
