Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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