i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
