I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize